Tag Archives: anger

Faith Punch

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My sister was 39 years old when she passed away five years ago. Two months after they discovered the cancer, it was all over. Her life had many joys, but puzzling anxieties consumed her, and in those last two months she recognized her ingratitude for the blessings in her life. However, this is also her redemption, because in the short time she had left, she found assurance of salvation, forgiveness for those who hurt her, and repentance for her failures.

Her passing is probably the saddest experience of my life. I was 15 when I decided to stop torturing her and start protecting her, but I was never able to fulfill this obligation. Too far away, too late, too distracted, too poor, too shackled. Yet, my efforts were fruitful; because of them, I was with her in the end, and she allowed me to speak into her life, to help guide her to that assurance of salvation, forgiveness, and repentance.

It is easy to remember only the very end, which is why I am glad a few of us connect to reminisce on the happy moments. This year, we are attempting something craftsy to remember her, and I did a poem. I remember her punches! Despite being so small, she was very strong! When I teased her, she would throw a quick punch that would take my breath away, all in good fun. She did not realize her own strength.

Though this poem may not mean much to you, I hope it leads you to recall with fondness those who have passed, both their struggles and their strengths.

Faith Punch

A Faith punch, her boxing about
A beauty that strikes, her craving deprived
A hunger for love, fury confounded
A toilsome joy, grinding life
A way within, always without
A one to share, more to strive
A bite of bread, baked for crowd
A lot to give, justice deprived
A mind all-retaining, the agony discounted
A fruitful dialogue, decaying time
A long gracious ramble, life-blood fouled
A heart restored, hunting the divine
A bout complete, homeward bound

Blessings! – Shamar Covenant

Beatitudes 5 – Mercy

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Matthew 5:7, Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. (NIV)

The word used for mercy here assumes the ability to fill a need. Jesus was not speaking of feeling pity or compassion, but actually doing something for those in need. Matthew gives many examples of Jesus demonstrating mercy by healing people who were blind or lame. These people were not able to work and had to rely on begging to survive, which meant that healing them was much more than mere physical restoration. Instead of struggling to survive, they could work and provide a more comfortable living for themselves.

For us who do not experience creation miracles, we can still fill the needs around us according to our ability, especially within the church. The apostle John said it this way:

If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth. (1 John 3:17-18, NIV)

Christians must live this out (John 13:34-35). If it does not come naturally, then we must cultivate this quality within ourselves by looking for needs and recognizing ways we can help. This will always require a sacrifice, as well as a confession of our pride and selfishness. It may mean deciding against the luxury model car, the bigger house, the fancier clothes, the overseas vacation, etc., and instead willfully choosing a more modest lifestyle so that there is extra that can be used to help those who cannot afford a vacation, because they struggle to make rent. Think about how it looks if some in our church are comfortable and living at ease while others struggle to survive? If we do not take care of one another, how can we convince the world we have love in us?

There is more to mercy than helping others materially. Notice the reward for mercy is receiving mercy. If that seems odd, look at something else Jesus said. Shortly after the beatitudes, Jesus shows us how to pray, and immediately follows it with this statement:

For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matt 6:14-15, NIV)

If this statement seems more like hyperbole than something intended to be literal, read the parable of the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:21-35, and notice what happens to the servant who failed to show a fellow servant a fraction of the mercy he had received from his master:

Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart. (Matt 18:32-35, NIV)

Without forgiveness, our eternal destiny is hell, a place of torture where we must pay the debt we owe. When we truly recognize how much we need God’s forgiveness, and see that we must extend this same forgiveness to others, the weight of these statements becomes tremendous. This is why the beatitudes, and our Christian walk, begin with being poor in spirit and recognizing how much we need God.

Our offenses against our perfectly righteous heavenly Father are infinitely more egregious than anything we could hold against a fellow sinner. This makes the parable of the unmerciful servant so pertinent and compelling. Anger is a good indicator of unforgiveness within us because it quite simply is always unforgiveness. It needs to be countered with mercy.

Personally, I know that I often mask my anger by calling it frustration, impatience, or even hurt, yet no matter what I call it, there is still a need for mercy and forgiveness in each circumstance. My frustration has never helped a situation get better, but when I have an attitude of mercy and genuine compassion, resolution always comes more peacefully. And when it does not, I must remember Jesus on the cross and allow myself to be low while others hurt or even oppress me, and then I can trust Christ for refuge instead of relying on my own strength or wit.

This may seem like a harsh and difficult standard, but it gets more so. Jesus taught that even our thoughts and words about others can reveal an angry, murderous attitude toward them.

You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, ‘You shall not murder, and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.’ But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. (Matt 5:21-22, NIV)

When we think or speak of someone as an “idiot” or call someone “stupid,” we are murdering them in our heart by making them less than us, or putting them beneath us. The Pharisees were doing this when they questioned Jesus dining with tax collectors and sinners. Jesus’ response was that he came for the sick, not the healthy, and that the Pharisees did not understand Hosea’s writing, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” (Hos 6:6, Matt 9:13, 12:7)

Imagine how we appear to God… would words like “idiot” and “stupid” apply? The error of the Pharisees was failing to see how much they fell short of the glory of God and acknowledging their need for the obliteration of their own sin. We do the same thing when we insult other people. Politics is an obvious example, because even within the church I see so many Christians putting others down for ideas they believe are good for the country. We must be different from the world! This demands humility, which is why the first three beatitudes build a foundation of humility.

We desperately need God’s mercy. However, there is a requirement for his mercy: If we are not merciful, we do not receive his mercy! This ought to compel us to grow in mercy. If all of us in the body of Christ are taking care of the needs within the church, then everyone’s needs will be supplied. This means not only material provision, but an attitude of the heart and a perspective of mercy in our thoughts and words. We must extend mercy to others, we must forgive others, and we cannot see others as beneath us or even as equal, but rather as being better than us (Phil 2:1-4). The result will be a true family of Christ.

Blessings! – Shamar Covenant

Have Your Way In Me

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Recently, I was trying to get somewhere. As a truck driver working for a company (as opposed to having my own running authority where I find my own loads to pull), I had to get dispatched with a load to that destination. I put in the request for this “home time” well in advance. When the time approached, I could tell that I was not going to make my destination at the requested time, and I became frustrated.

Actually, I was angry. When I contacted my driver leader about this, I was also sleepy. I needed to get rest during the day, normal working hours for most, including my driver leader. My rest was interrupted continually with various dispatches that would not work. I sent a couple rude messages (Via my truck computer! Super-cool high-speed stuff, I know!) to my driver leader until I received a dispatch that appeared to have me sitting at my current location for almost two days, and I sent another rude message to my driver leader about that. When I say “rude,” you should read “angry.”

After this last message, I lay back down on my bed (My truck has a bed in the back! Too cool, I know!) and for some reason a song popped in my head, the song I posted above [Unspoken “Lift My Life Up” @unspokenmusic]. Specifically, my favorite part of the lyrics, “Have your way in me,” were singing in my thoughts. A peace came over my body, which had been tense with anxiety and anger. I got up and responded to the ridiculous dispatch only to realize that it started the next day, not two days away as I thought. Oops. As I was accepting that dispatch, my driver leader sent me a very polite message verifying the start time for the pick-up and asking if I was reading the dispatch correctly. My response was very short, “I wasn’t, just figured it out, sorry. I just accepted the load.”

It was late in the day and my driver leader left work shortly after. Laying back down, I got to thinking about how rude I had been and how wholly inadequate my apology message was, the song lyrics still singing in my head. I needed to give a real apology. Unfortunately, I had to wait till the next morning, but this actually gave me time to think up what I hope was a very good apology. The next morning, this is the message I sent him:

B–, I need to apologize, and I’m sorry I didn’t send this yesterday as soon as I realized my mistake. I was very rude yesterday. I was angry because I knew I wasn’t going to get to my home time destination, and then I was also trying to sleep while the dispatches were coming in and wasn’t paying attention. There’s no excuse, though. The Bible says, “man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires,” (Jam 1:20 NIV84) and I was far from righteous yesterday. I’m doing better controlling my anger, but I failed yesterday. Thank you for helping me as best you were able, I appreciate your work. I hope I do much better in the future. Blessings, Temujin

What makes my angry, rude messages more foolish was before any of those dispatches came in, I prayed with my girlfriend about God guiding where I would get dispatched, because I knew it was up in the air. Instead of waiting for the dispatches with faith and trust, I gave in to the angry response. And I already knew I would not make my home time!

I often say that I am a “bad Christian” because I am so aware of how far short of the mark I fall. But my girlfriend’s pastor recently told me that I am not a bad Christian, I am a work in progress. If I was bad, that would mean God looks at me based on my works, but he does not. He looks at me based on the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross, therefore I cannot be a “bad” Christian. I do still sin, though, and am in the process of sanctification, progressing toward the goal of Christ-like perfection that I will not reach in this life.

I really like Unspoken’s song “Lift My Life Up” and always raise a hand while singing it. In context with my rude anger, I realized how I need God to have his way in me. His ways are righteous, and mine are selfish. So I will lift my hands up, lift my life up, and call to God to have his way in me, to work out all my anger and turn it into peace and love and joy, especially toward others. I am, after all, Christ’s ambassador.

Blessings – Shamar Covenant

P.S. If you pass me while driving (not very difficult since I drive at 57-58mph), and you see me with one hand on the steering wheel and the other raised in the air as I sing something with almost distracting enthusiasm, I may just be singing and worshipping to Unspoken’s song. I really like that song.